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    Wednesday, February 22, 2006 

    Desperate IITians

    Picked from orkut
    Author : Arunabh Kumar.
    Context : Community name: Beware of Desperate IITians, Thread name: Kindly contribute ur valuable theoies..... 11/27/2005 1:25 PM

    Hi guys,
    I have been with the 'IITian'for almost 10 yrs now. Most of my frnds who I used to hang out with since Std 8 have gone on to become the reason of concern for memebers of this community. I will try my best to answer you with all my experience. And I wud like to do it using the technique that we are allegedly best at.Solving it as a problem.
    Problem : Prove that any element X that belongs to a set "IIT" will give the extreme(not max*) value of "function{desp}" when mapped on the values of the factors of 'desp' to that of X.
    I will use statistics & number theory theorems to prove this.
    Assumptions:1] Most of us belong to middle class
    2] Most of prepared for JEE for 2 or more yrs
    3] Most of us have been studious boys at some time in past life
    4] Comparison is only among college students
    5] Most of us are heterosexuals

    From simple ‘product of factors theorem’ of Statistical Maths desp{X} = f{A,t,s,r,P,E,D,e} (d = directly proportional, i = inversely proportional)
    desp d A= age factor (since it’s a normal distribution with maxima around 26,so maximum, taken from a publication of "The Scientist magazine")
    i t = fraction of time spent with females in 1 day ( we will have to integrate this over 4 years because the value of this in 1 day will be an infinitesimal element, which will make the value of ‘desp’reach infinity , t definitely comes to a minimum among all colleges)
    i s = Social life quotient (considering the places where IITs are and the kind of background most of us come from(and the proffs), its minimum among all colleges)
    i r =Sex ratio (again averaged over all the 7 IITs otherwise it will come negligible and will shoot the desp function to infinity., and surely is minimum among all colleges)
    d P= percent of time on issues other than gals (I don’t think I need to tell this one as our rigorous academic n campus life easily makes it maximum among other colleges)
    d E= lack of emphasis towards gal in past life(from the above assumptions its pretty obvious that we belong to the crowd which preferred to do other things than increase our network among girls at interschool level as we were busy in tuitions and NTSE , so maximum)
    d D= Sexual Desire (since this is maximum among ppl who have not yet experienced it , and from the available data and the problem , its evident that the value corresponding to X is maximum)
    d E’ = emotional fulfillment (considering the hostel life, lack of interaction with proffs n family, stress, and boredom with the monotonous life, maximum among all the colleges)
    Following a simple theorem in number theory which says that If you have extreme values of all the parameters if a function, then they are bound to give you the extremum values of the function.
    So desp = D max * E max * s min* P max *E’ max * r min * Amax * t min
    Now considering the reciprocal functions of s min, r min and t min as S max, R max,T max and replacing them in the above function Now, desp = D max*E max*S max*P max*E’ max*R max*A max*T maxNow using the theorem stated above,
    We get desp{X} = (DESPE’RAT) max
    And hence proved
    [P.S. -* There are cases when you will find that you will get minimum value of ‘desp’ when you consider some elements from the set ‘IIT ‘, (so bad that their wives will actually have to go to neighbors)]
    Guys,I just had my exams over so I used my 2(cud hav been boring)hours on this and initially even thought of proving it by Fuzzy Logic,but I was apprehensive,If all wud get it. Though I wanted to multiply the final value with a factor of apparent desperation (among girls, cause I have actually seen non IITians do some of the most despo stuff but still not dubbed desperate but instead they are branded as cool bad guys with guts)So the precieved value of desperation is more for an IITian that its actual value. with the coefficient >1

    An admirable work indeed
    though there is one more point of extreme importance that I would like to quantify and add

    the P instead of being the percentage of time spend on other activities... could have been the perception that others have of IITians (general ppl think IITians r nerds, geeks, dont wanna have fun, and engg think there is only 1 thing they do- they dope) this being a D factor (directly propotional and on a scale of 1-10 its value is arnd 100) the desp (IITian) increases manyfold...

    exp talking guys, I've stopped using the word IITian as long as the word is not forced out of me, even then i stop at kgp/kharagpur and leave it on the intelligence of the other to comprehend wheter i'm from an IIT or an ITI...

    Very Inspirational thou… I have decided I’ll come up wid my own desperation theory soon


    i guess more factors could be added...but nonethelss...i think the function desp(IItian) is highly chaotic...slight changes in initial conditions could make the predicted values go haywire...(u can guess what paper i have tom :D)...btw...this arunabh is he the arunabh i know??

    yeah the same arunabh kumar that u know
    I agree that the proof might not be absolute in terms of robustness, but its atleast a begining its now up to us to better the theorem
    thats y i said i'll soon be coming out with my version ;-)

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    Made me Nostalgic ..

    Remember the piegon count theorem by us ;-)

    More important thing Desp for arunab kumar and desp for me will be two extremely different quantities ..i am no doubt much more DESPERER than him ..so i think we can add a coefficient of Nerdness or or say eeta(n) which is not constant for the complete data set obciously. .
    i this way we will have a desperate distribution and then for sake of simplicity we can assume normal stoicastic distribution and then we can calculate mean and sigma of the desperation function.. but again just a suggestion i think there is a lot of reaserch potential in this topic..

    some further brainstorming

    Most of the IITians are desperate but they are desperate to loose the “desperate” tag and so the desperation shows on their other wise non-desperate faces. Now this desperation is confused with the desperation of getting hooked up. Thank u very much I aint that desperate that once out of the deperate institute surrounded by desperate ppl, I would just jump into sum relationship out of desperation. But because our desperation is as infamous as probably desperation itself, all our friendly gestures and advances are thought of as desperate attempts of a desperate soul to get along with the grl.


    " all our friendly gestures and advances are thought of as desperate attempts of a desperate soul to get along with the grl."

    good lines yaar arnav pakoda

    anyway abt ur post yaar toooo gud who is dat arunabh kumar yaar

    bt pata mera to dimag ki baati gul ho gayi thi do baar pada fir smajha main maths mein thodi kaccchi hoon :)))))))))))

    fundoo stuff!!!

    abe maine kal jaldi mein dhyaan nahi diya tha ki ye tune copy paste kiya tha arnabh ke writeup se...sale chorrr!!!

    some desperation this guy must've gone through writing this shit...

    @ su
    u find it funny!!! its true :(.
    waise the author is a kgp guy, so one more kgpian that u know now

    @ annon
    name plz

    @ shukla
    saale chori to chup ke ki jaati hai, yahan to daaka hai ;-)

    Hey sarang ,

    Do you know waht is The Only difference betweem me , Arnav and arunab ...Arunab had a chance to pen (Rather say keyboard) it doem first ...

    woh nahin to koi aur hota ...
    but i had to be some KGP guys ...

    ye sala arunav kuch kuch karta rahta hia...par sexy derivation:))

    @ PEE
    accha milaoo us naye KGPians se jaldi :)

    arrrrey awesome stuff man !!!!!!! totalllly rocking !!! loved it !!!

    @ deepak and sarang
    - well things cant get more desperate than wat they are in kgp so wat both of u said are nothing but the absolute truth
    @ dadi
    are orkut par hai na woh banda, pura likh to rakha hai maine uska CV dhund lo
    @ PJ
    baat to sahi bol raha hai yaar tu
    @ rims
    geee thanx

    arunabh kumar god !!
    sala aise harkat..wohi patak sakta hai :D

    you are tagged...gaali mat dena...isi bahane tumahara ek aur post to aayega...

    gr8 proof that IIT stud are nerds....I think this would apply to most collegers...Icing in the cake is the explanations for the terms...

    hey gud one [;)]

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