### Desperate IITians

**Picked from orkut**

Author : Arunabh Kumar.

Context : Community name: Beware of Desperate IITians, Thread name: Kindly contribute ur valuable theoies..... 11/27/2005 1:25 PM

Author : Arunabh Kumar.

Context : Community name: Beware of Desperate IITians, Thread name: Kindly contribute ur valuable theoies..... 11/27/2005 1:25 PM

*Hi guys,*

*I have been with the 'IITian'for almost 10 yrs now. Most of my frnds who I used to hang out with since Std 8 have gone on to become the reason of concern for memebers of this community. I will try my best to answer you with all my experience. And I wud like to do it using the technique that we are allegedly best at.Solving it as a problem.*

*Problem : Prove that any element X that belongs to a set "IIT" will give the extreme(not max*) value of "function{desp}" when mapped on the values of the factors of 'desp' to that of X.*

*I will use statistics & number theory theorems to prove this.*

*Assumptions:1] Most of us belong to middle class*

*2] Most of prepared for JEE for 2 or more yrs*

*3] Most of us have been studious boys at some time in past life*

*4] Comparison is only among college students*

*5] Most of us are heterosexuals*

*From simple ‘product of factors theorem’ of Statistical Maths desp{X} = f{A,t,s,r,P,E,D,e} (d = directly proportional, i = inversely proportional)*

*Where*

*desp d A= age factor (since it’s a normal distribution with maxima around 26,so maximum, taken from a publication of "The Scientist magazine")*

*i t = fraction of time spent with females in 1 day ( we will have to integrate this over 4 years because the value of this in 1 day will be an infinitesimal element, which will make the value of ‘desp’reach infinity , t definitely comes to a minimum among all colleges)*

*i s = Social life quotient (considering the places where IITs are and the kind of background most of us come from(and the proffs), its minimum among all colleges)*

*i r =Sex ratio (again averaged over all the 7 IITs otherwise it will come negligible and will shoot the desp function to infinity., and surely is minimum among all colleges)*

*d P= percent of time on issues other than gals (I don’t think I need to tell this one as our rigorous academic n campus life easily makes it maximum among other colleges)*

*d E= lack of emphasis towards gal in past life(from the above assumptions its pretty obvious that we belong to the crowd which preferred to do other things than increase our network among girls at interschool level as we were busy in tuitions and NTSE , so maximum)*

*d D= Sexual Desire (since this is maximum among ppl who have not yet experienced it , and from the available data and the problem , its evident that the value corresponding to X is maximum)*

*d E’ = emotional fulfillment (considering the hostel life, lack of interaction with proffs n family, stress, and boredom with the monotonous life, maximum among all the colleges)*

*Following a simple theorem in number theory which says that If you have extreme values of all the parameters if a function, then they are bound to give you the extremum values of the function.*

*So desp = D max * E max * s min* P max *E’ max * r min * Amax * t min*

*Now considering the reciprocal functions of s min, r min and t min as S max, R max,T max and replacing them in the above function Now, desp = D max*E max*S max*P max*E’ max*R max*A max*T maxNow using the theorem stated above,*

*We get desp{X} = (DESPE’RAT) max*

*And hence proved*

*[P.S. -* There are cases when you will find that you will get minimum value of ‘desp’ when you consider some elements from the set ‘IIT ‘, (so bad that their wives will actually have to go to neighbors)]*

*Guys,I just had my exams over so I used my 2(cud hav been boring)hours on this and initially even thought of proving it by Fuzzy Logic,but I was apprehensive,If all wud get it. Though I wanted to multiply the final value with a factor of apparent desperation (among girls, cause I have actually seen non IITians do some of the most despo stuff but still not dubbed desperate but instead they are branded as cool bad guys with guts)So the precieved value of desperation is more for an IITian that its actual value. with the coefficient >1*

______________________________

An admirable work indeed

though there is one more point of extreme importance that I would like to quantify and add

the P instead of being the percentage of time spend on other activities... could have been the perception that others have of IITians (general ppl think IITians r nerds, geeks, dont wanna have fun, and engg think there is only 1 thing they do- they dope) this being a D factor (directly propotional and on a scale of 1-10 its value is arnd 100) the desp (IITian) increases manyfold...

exp talking guys, I've stopped using the word IITian as long as the word is not forced out of me, even then i stop at kgp/kharagpur and leave it on the intelligence of the other to comprehend wheter i'm from an IIT or an ITI...

Very Inspirational thou… I have decided I’ll come up wid my own desperation theory soon