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    Wednesday, August 24, 2005 

    Diary of a distressed soul

    The last days of Kgp for me were perhaps the most sentimental I had ever been, 1st watching the 3rd years go followed by the 2nd years and then finally the final years one by one as and when their Project eval got over,but the sadest part was when my wingies started to trickle out. We went to see off each and every one. Finally when I was leaving all that was left of DFE was on the station, some of them hurriedly filling the scrap books, some looking blank, some trying to crack jokes and others trying to laugh at them. I had come to Kgp for the 1st time with a drop of tear in my eyes, and i was leaving it for the last time in much the same way.

    Just before I left I decided to maintain a diary to record my final few days in Kharagpur, I had decided to explore Kgp and do things I had not done in the last 4 years, and to try to make the most of the last few days in the company of my wingies, I went to the insti gol-c, roof top of the main insti building, Chem top amongst others. One particular dinner was memorable when we had brought food from Punjabi Dhaba, arranged tables and had food like a family on a dinning table.

    I found some of those diary entries in a mail I had sent to a frnd though most of it is still safe in my computer in Ranchi

    30th april
    this is one of the very few occassions that i have decided to make a diary entry, but then u are not always on a crossroad, on one side is the future waiting for us once we step out the insti for this final time, never to come back again,on the other we have the present and the past associated with this lovely place.

    kgp is coming to an end. four years of the life we spent over here is finishing, it all seemed so distant yesterday wen we were partying the whole nite, but today when we woke up to realise that half the hall is already empty. people, we might not c ever again in life, the same ppl we spend so much time with the best 4 years of our lives, are now gone, its hard not to become sentimental.

    today after dinner in biloos, we(me with jha and shukla) went to the insti gol
    chakkar(the 1st time in 4 yrs, 4 me), as we sat there gazing the stars and the
    impressive main building, INDIAN INSTITUE OF TECHNOLOGY written at the top,it was hard not to get a little nostalgic. back in the hostel the inspired discussion with harsh, jha and shukla abt the campus, the insti, the hall, the wonderful frnds we made here, all of which will be over in abt 15 more days made my eyes wet.

    i hope tomorrow be more sane, and i can get on with the project work.

    1st may
    kgp life really sucks in vacations (irrespective of wheter its ur last few days or not), when u come out in the corridor and c all the lights of the block facing u, switched off, all curtains drawn a strange lonliness sets in. and then there is food. mess food here like everyplace else is loathed but then at least u have someplace where u can go and have food without worrying abt paying then and there. in the whole day i had just one meal, that too a dosa and 2 cutlets, and then 1 tinku from cheddis late in nite. money constraint becomes huge specially in a wing like ours where ppl are perineally broke.

    coming to the more sentimental part or the real reason y i started writing the memoir, seeing ppl leave is becoming more and more difficult (as if living here wasnt pain enough). now its almost like its only the final years that are still here.

    today i started with the proj work, worked a lil slept a lil and so on, but then by early in the morning i could conc a lil and now i hope that the momentum i have gained in the last few hrs can continue from now onwards and the thing gets over soon.
    its 7 in the morning as i'm signing off to go to sleep.

    2nd may
    3 days in a row it has to be a record of sorts. anyway here i am sitting in front of the comp typing todays entry. well the day began for me at arnd 3 45, and then i had to rush to my guide, seeing how peaceful he is i sometimes wonder if there is something else goig on in there, some big plot to get me. anyway my proj is almost done now, 2 days at max, and then its all typing, the panel is also quite peaceful so it should not be v difficult. we have our proj eval on the 12th and have to submit the thesis on the same day, but am aiming to complete it by the 9th no last moment work this time.

    no unusual happenings today, no more bye bye's no more farewells. the big news for the day was i heard about vaibhav saxena proposing to pujari, will have to remember and confirm it directly from her.

    BTW today(3rd) is tripathis b'day, he brought cake tonite and we finished it up b4 half the wing could gather and in moments all signs of its existence were destroyed, a wing speciality that i'm not going to c any place else. nothing else happened in the day, no proj work atall but now as i'm putting in this entry i'm installing ms office as well, am planing to write some part of the thesis today itself. movies, games, and the familiar guilt feeling of not doing anything in the day, that was the day in short.

    maintaining a diary is getting intresting, now that i've started enjoying it i think i'll continue writing in (atleast recent) future.

    3rd may
    well for the 1st time yesterday i was confident of maintaining my diary regularly and today i almost went to sleep without making an entry. eventhough it was an uneventful day with not much to write abt, but a man has got to do what he has got to do. i woke up relatively early today, b4 1, and then had lunch (after ages i think possibly for the 1st time since last wednesday) the regular at harry's. after food, it was desperate housewives, sleep, the insider, chatting, a lil orkuting, a lil thesis typing and then back to some more comp. life is so simple here, no worries, no thoughts, no responsibilities...

    eventhough i tried to do some proj work but unfortunately it has got stuck bcoz of lack of a certain chart which i have to take tomorrow from my guide (thank god i had some excuse today, feels less bad this way).

    nothing happened on taklus b'day. i think i hardly saw him, he's one hell of a person, when he gets into his shell then he needs no one, takes heed of no one, just lives his own life, hes made of some other stuff altogether, i dont know good or bad, but different for sure.

    tomorrow i also intend to talk to gautam sinha abt the delay in L&T's offer letter, maybe he's got some confirmation of the rumours that our pay may be hiked :D.

    signing off till tomorrow.

    4th may
    Its getting kinda boring, both the life over here and then obviously its description on the diary.on top of that my cards validity got over yesterday so no more phone calls, i think that was the only thing keeping me sane, i'll have to get a refill soon. in the morning i read a mail fwded by nandi that informed that our joining is most probably on the 14th of june in mumbai, so only abt a month to enjoy before the grinding begins.

    i also went to JKB today to get the chart and got it too, but did not work on it, tomorrow i've set a target to complete the thing, so that day after tomorrow i can go to JKB with the full project. the typing will take a lil while but then i'll have 1 full week for it so it should not be a big deal.
    went to the bank today so the days of counting coins before going out for a meal is over. had proper lunch in sahara today. and then slept a lot, a new series (CSI) has come and with nothing better to do i've started watching it, even though its kinda boring.

    did lots of orkutig today, joined communities and did lots of
    chutiyapa over there. besides that not much happened in the day.

    nothing else that i can think of, i'm getting bored, not feeling sleepy, god knows wats got into me, cant get to sleep before 4 5 in the morning, i think i'll write some one a mail, long one apni frustness nikalne ke liye.

    off till tomorrow, hope theres something to cheer about tomorrow, but if i do only proj work then i dont think there's going to be anything interesting, anyway lets leave that for the morrow, no use speculating

    Boy o boy!!

    boy o boy!!!
    y anonymous

    wat a comment!!! boy o boy anonymous!!!

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